Archive for May, 2008

Excellence.

Posted in sundry updates with tags , , , on May 16 2008 by unlegion

The semester is over, and even without seeing my final grades, I am certainly a junior. Tomorrow I’ll be watching a few friends get their diplomas.

Tonight I am beginning to move to my new apartment. The futureroommate, as I’ve been calling him in my mind, seems like a good dude. His friends? We’ll see. I am about to go over there armed with air freshener, paper towels, endust, and murphy’s wood oil soap. I love murphy’s, probably because of memories of my mother washing and re-waxing the floors every other year when I was a kid.

And tonight? Greek food, my favorite boy, and my currentroommate’s performance art piece in conjunction with her boy. Excellent.

But while we’re on the subject of soap, I have some advice for vagina-owning readers and anyone involved with vaginas. Never, ever put anything down there as lubricant that is not explicitly marketed as such. Ever. Not even stuff you’ve put there before for other reasons, or stuff that you put on the rest of your body. NEVER. This is shit they need to teach us in high school.

And on that note, would the searchers for “suckmy cock” and “suck mycock” go back to remedial typing class? Thanks.

Ebert, suck my cock.

Posted in feminism, rants with tags , , , on May 13 2008 by unlegion

While studying for a film final (fingers crossed for this evening), I noticed something very odd about Ebert’s 1976 review of the movie “Rocky”. If you’re familiar with the movie, you’ll know what I mean. I tried to find clips to illustrate my point, but no luck. It opens:

She sits, tearful and crumpled, in a corner of her little bedroom. Her brother has torn apart the living room with a baseball bat. Rocky, the guy she has fallen in love with, comes into the room.

“Do you want a roommate?” she asks shyly, almost whispering.

“Absolutely,” says Rocky.

Which is exactly what he should say, and how he should say it, and why “Rocky” is such an immensely involving movie.

Um, that’s not how that scene went at all. I’ll get into that right after a couple of other exerpts:

He is awkwardly in love with a painfully shy girl (Talia Shire) who works in the corner pet shop.

And then there’s Talia Shire, as the girl (she was the hapless sister of the Corleone boys in “The Godfather“). When she hesitates before kissing Rocky for the first time, it’s a moment so poignant it’s like no other.

What, she doesn’t get a name? At the end of the movie, Rocky screams Adrian, Adrian, Adrian, over and over– don’t tell me you forgot, Ebert. She’s not just “the girl,” and the scene where she (is kissed) by Rocky for the first time is called sexual assault. He used manipulative tactics to coerce her into his apartment, started taking off his clothes, invaded her personal space, and despite her numerous protestations that she didn’t belong there and should leave or call her brother to let him know where she was, Rocky backed her into a corner, blocked her escape, and presumably raped her.

So then they’re girlfriend and boyfriend, right? Right. And the tearful and crumpled? This is right after she screams in the face of her abusive and alcoholic brother that she’s been the one taking care of him, and that he’s holding her back, not the other way around (all true). With wrath, she storms into her bedroom and slams the door after having properly intimidated the creep. When Rocky follows her (after standing up for her point of view, thank goodness) she is not in any state of womanly distress. Her emotions are understandably high– she is flushed, full of verve at finding her own voice, and sits with ram-rod straight posture. “Tearful and crumpled” my ASS. While she does ask if Rocky wants a roommate in a quiet tone, this is far more a re-assertion of her rational control over those exhilarating emotions of savagery and anger than out of bashfulness.

Ebert, is “Rocky” a good movie because you interpret it to conform to patriarchal standards of rape-based romance?

My teacher argued that “Rocky” could be seen as a story of two trapped people who escape from their situations. Rocky, a fighter on skid row, gets a one-in-a-million chance at glory and respect through the opportunity to fight Apollo Creed. He becomes a hero for the every-day man, and wins in the sense that he holds his own against all odds. Adrian escapes from her brother’s keeping and from her shyness by getting Rocky.

Fuck you, teacher. That’s not growth, that’s not liberation. That’s trading one prison for another, except now instead of getting yelled at every once in a while she gets fucked (or raped) and lives in Rocky’s smelly bachelor pad, forever dwarfed by his fame.

Let’s not even get into the interpretation of “Rocky” as diatribe against black people. I’m so angry I need to go increase the size of my biceps before this final.

drummer

Posted in high emotions with tags on May 4 2008 by unlegion

This boy is amazing. Our skulls fit together. Our morning breath mysteriously fails to offend. Our ears perk up to the same industrial beats. We speak nonsense blurbles.

Excuse me while I go revel in moon-calfiness.

end of semester rants

Posted in rants with tags , , on May 1 2008 by unlegion

My apartment-mate had her sophomore review today. I’m a little unclear on what her final piece was, but it involved family and the idea of blankets. One of the male reviewers immediately tried to pigeon-hole her piece as “feminist,” just because it involved domesticity. I CALL SHENS. A sculpture student last semester hung his laundry across campus green and painted it white. No one mentioned feminism. Another made a swiveling potato-cannon cockpit. No one mentioned male-ism. This pisses me off to no end.

Next issue. If you wanted to play a game of baseball, would you head for the pool? If you wanted vegetables, would you go to Coldstone? If you want to chat loudly with friends about HOW FUCKING AWESOME YOUR PROJECT WAS AND IT COST 300 DOLLARS or about YOU HAVEN’T SLEPT IN 36 HOURS AND HOW THE BULLSHIT PIECE OF CRAP FINAL YOU SUBMITTED LAST SEMESTER WAS TOTALLY LEGIT BECAUSE BAD THINGS ONLY HAPPEN TO POOR WEE INNOCENT YOU…

Get the fuck out of my studio. I have work to do. Sound-editing work. And my noise-canceling airplane-approved head phones can’t keep your asshattery out of my ears.